My "Mini Man" commercial scripts, for a deaf fan

Recently, a guy requested to be my friend on Facebook. Before accepting, I asked him if I knew him. Our exchange is below. I think it’s a pretty touching story, and he said he’d be cool with me sharing it on my blog. Hopefully it inspires us all to keep smiling in the face of adversity.
friend request
Between Bryan Adam Grant and You
Josh Rachlis 01 February at 09:44
hi, do i know you?
Bryan Adam Grant 01 February at 09:47
Not really. Are you the same Josh Rachlis who’s in those Mini-Man commercials?
Josh Rachlis 01 February at 09:52
aye, laddie. that’s me!
Bryan Adam Grant 01 February at 09:55
Sweet! 🙂 Can you do me a favour then? I’m deaf you see and I saw those commercials when I still had my hearing but now since I can’t hear, I can’t remember what’s being said. I can remember a bit but not the whole thing. I was wondering if I could get the text for both of them, if it’s not too much trouble? I would really appreciate it.
So, for Bryan – obviously a man of bravery and of impeccable taste in comedy – below are the videos, accompanied by the words I wrote and spoke.
MINI MAN: New Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Granola Bites. Chewy granola mixed with delicious flavours… Oh, it’s so true. But I’m not sure why they call them “mini.” Because they’re huge! Here, look at the size of this baby! (Aaah) Pieces of fruit the size of my nephew’s head! Oh, but you can eat a lot or just a little. Who could eat even one of these behemoths! This could feed an army for a year! Oh, hello… Aaaahhh!!
WOMAN: Aaaah!!!!
ANNOUNCER: New Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Granola Bites. They’re mini… If you’re not.
MINI MAN: I’m okay.
MINI MAN: Ladies and gentlemen. The same Kellogg’s that deceived you with Mini Granola Bites now brings us… this! Oh, the goodness of Nutri-Grain, but mini. Which would be wonderful, aye. If… it… were… TRUE! Does this delicious snack look mini to any of you? “No.” “Why?” Because it’s huge! This is classic size misrepresentation!
ANNOUNCER: Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Cereal Bars. They’re mini… If you’re not.
MINI MAN: I rest my case.
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Josh Rachlis

Actor, comedian, radio host,cartoonist, singer/songwriter, cupcake judge. Follow http://facebook.com/JoshRachlis

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