My "Mini Man" commercial scripts, for a deaf fan

Recently, a guy requested to be my friend on Facebook. Before accepting, I asked him if I knew him. Our exchange is below. I think it’s a pretty touching story, and he said he’d be cool with me sharing it on my blog. Hopefully it inspires us all to keep smiling in the face of adversity.
friend request
Between Bryan Adam Grant and You
Josh Rachlis 01 February at 09:44
hi, do i know you?
Bryan Adam Grant 01 February at 09:47
Not really. Are you the same Josh Rachlis who’s in those Mini-Man commercials?
Josh Rachlis 01 February at 09:52
aye, laddie. that’s me!
Bryan Adam Grant 01 February at 09:55
Sweet! 🙂 Can you do me a favour then? I’m deaf you see and I saw those commercials when I still had my hearing but now since I can’t hear, I can’t remember what’s being said. I can remember a bit but not the whole thing. I was wondering if I could get the text for both of them, if it’s not too much trouble? I would really appreciate it.
So, for Bryan – obviously a man of bravery and of impeccable taste in comedy – below are the videos, accompanied by the words I wrote and spoke.
MINI MAN: New Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Granola Bites. Chewy granola mixed with delicious flavours… Oh, it’s so true. But I’m not sure why they call them “mini.” Because they’re huge! Here, look at the size of this baby! (Aaah) Pieces of fruit the size of my nephew’s head! Oh, but you can eat a lot or just a little. Who could eat even one of these behemoths! This could feed an army for a year! Oh, hello… Aaaahhh!!
WOMAN: Aaaah!!!!
ANNOUNCER: New Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Granola Bites. They’re mini… If you’re not.
MINI MAN: I’m okay.
MINI MAN: Ladies and gentlemen. The same Kellogg’s that deceived you with Mini Granola Bites now brings us… this! Oh, the goodness of Nutri-Grain, but mini. Which would be wonderful, aye. If… it… were… TRUE! Does this delicious snack look mini to any of you? “No.” “Why?” Because it’s huge! This is classic size misrepresentation!
ANNOUNCER: Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Cereal Bars. They’re mini… If you’re not.
MINI MAN: I rest my case.

I illustrate the James Ready Beer Newsletter a 3rd time!

I’ve been called back into illustrating action! This time, a James Ready Beer employee took the computer and printer to Newfoundland and forgot them at his parent’s house. So I was asked to hand-write the James Ready Newsletter, and once again took the liberty of adding my own little illustrations, thoughts and comments. Like me, these drawings look a lot better after a James Ready or two. Just sayin’. 🙂

Radio movie review of Law Abiding Citizen

Here’s my review of the movie “Law Abiding Citizen.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on February 27, 2010. In the interest of full-disclosure, I will admit to having a man-crush on Mr. Gerard Butler. But I want you to know that I in no way let this influence my review. I may be a lovesick puppy, but I’m a professional one. Listen by clicking on the video below or going to http://vimeo.com/9969329. And listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab,” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://cinaradio.com.

Radio movie review of Law Abiding Citizen from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of Zombieland

Here’s my review of the movie “Zombieland.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on February 20, 2010. Don’t worry, it’s got scary zombies, but it’s mostly a comedy. Just like how in the review I talk about my first slow dance with a girl in Grade 6. Scary and funny. Hmm… Now that I think about it, my love life hasn’t really changed since then. Listen by clicking on the video below or going to http://vimeo.com/9969143. And listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab,” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://cinaradio.com.

Radio movie review of Zombieland from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of The Hurt Locker

Here’s my review of the movie “The Hurt Locker.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on February 6, 2010.
My movie reviews don’t involve research, I review them like a regular guy who just went to a movie. A regular guy who will persevere through anything to get you your review. You see, when I sat down to watch this movie, my stomach started tensing up right at the opening scene. I thought, “Wow, this is one powerful movie!” After the movie, though, I was still in stomach agony. Turns out I had the Norwalk stomach flu thingy. But, even on zero sleep, I still forced myself to a land-line in the morning so I could call in the review. Because nothing’s more important to me than fans like you. You are my Pepto Bismol. (Isn’t that a beautiful sentiment? Hey, Makers of Pepto Bismol, wanna sponsor my reviews?)
Listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vimeo.com/9284644

Radio movie review of The Hurt Locker from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of Sherlock Holmes

Here’s my review of the movie “Sherlock Holmes.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on January 30, 2010.
My movie reviews don’t involve research, I review them like a regular guy who just went to a movie. However, I must admit that I’ve been researching Robert Downey Jr. for the past few years, to figure out how I could maybe be as cool as him. I’ve also been researching ways to get Rachel McAdams to appear in my eco-comedy videos. Although, I’m probably wasting my time on that research, since I didn’t even have the guts to go up to her when I saw her walking around at the Word On The Street Festival in Toronto this Summer.
Listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=102807282

On the radio reviewing the movie Up In The Air!

Here’s my review of the movie “Up In The Air.” I did it on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on January 20, 2010, with the show’s excellent host, Prab Dhanoa.
My movie reviews don’t involve research, I review them like a regular guy who just went to a movie. Although, sometimes my life turns out to be my research. Like when the movie’s about a guy whose apartment is a barren shell and who spends all his time fleeing from the commitment of meaningful relationships.
Be sure to listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, from 10am to 11am on Saturdays at 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=102717527