I wrote the IKEA Summer Collection e-newsletter

I’ve been writing IKEA Canada​ e-newsletters for years, and always wondered how to get a copy of them. This month it occurred to me to simply subscribe to IKEA e-newsletters. I’m slow, but eventually I figure things out. This one, that came 3 days ago, is just a mini one. And I think the smaller headlines were from a previous writer’s work. But I just searched on my computer and see that I did write the main line: “Ooo la outdoor.” Finally, my Senior Kindergarten to Grade 6 French Immersion has come in handy!

IKEA Summer Collection 2015 e-newsletter
IKEA Summer Collection 2015 e-newsletter

I did the voiceover for this Ink To The People video

Want to design a T-shirt? Feel like saving the world? I’m about to doubly make your day. Check out the video I voiced for Ink to the People, where you can get your shirts made and support charities.

The audition specs called for a voice like Alec Baldwin narrating The Royal Tenenbaums. I’m not sure how close I got to that, but they chose me and wanted my final read to be exactly like my audition. So, I guess I got close enough!

Now, I need to come up with a T-shirt design about saving the environment. Hmmm… Perhaps my Enviroman persona needs to be on a shirt. He’s a darn good-looking superhero, after all.

Someone bizarrely animates my IKEA radio ad

While Googling myself, I came across this bizarre video:

It seems someone named SuperUmizoomiFan2013 on YouTube found an IKEA ad I wrote and put it to clips from an animated kids show. I have no idea what any of this means. Maybe you can explain it me? Here’s my original commercial:

And here’s how he (I assume it’s a guy) put it in the description:

Published on 14 Aug 2014

This is another commercial for Go, Diego, Go with Ikea’s 50% Off Summer Sale which talks about the beach, and ghosts, as found at https://soundcloud.com/joshrachlis/ik… – so I decided I should do a video like this! No copyright infringement intended! All credit goes to Josh Rachlis on Soundcloud, plus Viacom, Nick Jr. and Nickelodeon, iTunes + Bandicam!

Listen to my campaign song, All About That Race (For Mayor)

When I recorded this campaign song at my friend Tony Daniels‘ place in New York City a couple of weeks ago, I had a sore throat from a cold and only a few minutes to do it. I planned to re-record it, and also shoot a video. But didn’t find the health or time. Still, a few seconds of this rough version was played on Breakfast Television (BT Toronto). And I can share it with you now to give you something to hum while you walk to the voting booth today. So, to the tune of Meghan Trainor‘s ‪#‎AllAboutThatBass‬, here’s my Mayoral platform,#‎AllAboutThatRace‬ (For Mayor). ‪#‎TOpoli‬

Lyrics:

“All About That Race”

Because you know I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race ‘Bout that race

Yeah, it’s pretty clear, I ain’t polling one or two
But I can shakes hands, shake hands
Like I’m supposed to do
‘Cause I got that passion that all voters chase
And I put all the right junk in all the right places (NOTE: In the video, I would sort my recycling here)

I see so many cars, stuck in that gridlock
You know that shit ain’t right
Traffic should not be stopped
If you want moving moving, just raise ‘em up (NOTE: In the video, people would be holding the ceiling handles on a streetcar)
‘Cause every inch of public transit
Gets you quicker to your stop

Yeah, as Mayor I’ll tell you don’t worry about your Pride
Because boy I’d like a little more festival to hold at night
You know I won’t be no arts-is-all-gravy bobblehead doll
So if that’s what you’re into
Then go write your own campaign song

Because you know I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race ‘Bout that race

I’m bringing new trees back
Go ahead and tell the squirrels and finches, Hey
No, I’m just playin’, I know you think you’re grey
But I’m here to tell you
Every inch of you can be green from the lakeshore to North York

Yah, as Mayor I’ll tell you don’t worry about your libraries
Because boy I’d like a little more reading to hold at night, you see
You know I won’t be no who’s-Margaret-Atwood bobblehead doll
So if that’s what you’re into
Then go ahead and vote for Doug

Because you know I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race ‘Bout that race

Because you know I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race ‘Bout that race

Because you know I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race, ‘Bout that race, for mayor
I’m all about that race ‘Bout that race

Song entry for 2011 Ottawa International Writers Festival contest

I wrote the above song in October 2011 for a songwriting contest CBC Radio’s Ottawa show All In A Day was having. This was the call:

The Alan Neal “Be in the Song Circle” Contest: Imagine a stage filled with Emm Gryner! Matt Barber! Louise Burns! Ann Vriend! And… you? On Friday, Oct. 21, Alan Neal, host of All In A Day, will be hosting a songwriters circle at the Ottawa International Writers Festival. And not only will Emm, Matt, Louise and Ann all be part of it… You could be too, if you can write a 2.5 minute song and perform it.

But not just ANY song…Each of the songwriters has given Alan a word you have to work into the song. You can go to www.cbc.ca/allinaday to get all the words & Contest details. You have to write your song and send it in to Alan by next Friday, Oct. 14 by 6 p.m. You can email lyrics in to mailto:allinaday@cbc.ca, where you can also send an mp3, or call it in to their listener line: 613-288-6519. But you only have until October 14th to do it!

We had to include the words rapscallion, aye-aye, by/buy/bye, and light. Around that time, I was running for MPP, and had been Skyping with a fellow first time Green Party candidate, Taylor Howarth. I told her about the contest. Or maybe she told ME about it? In any case, here’s her song: http://www.taylorhowarth.com/beautiful-you/

Song contest for Ottawa International Writers Festival

Love song to win back girl

A few years ago, I was desperate to win back a girlfriend I had let go. So I wrote a song, specifically about all the reasons I liked her – I even used her name in it, in a rhyme, so that it was integral – and emailed it to her. She didn’t take me back right away, but it got us talking a bit. And eventually I won her back. Until I let her go again. But at least I have the song to remember her by.

Here’s the song: 

And here’s the email I sent with the song:

This is the email I sent to Jenn with a song to try to win her back.
This is the email I sent to Jenn with a song to try to win her back.
Jenn's reply to my song
This is Jenn’s reply. And then my reply to her. Which was a dumb reply of mine, because it showed her I was still afraid of commitment.